Posted in SteelRazor

56: Claustrophobia

I’m home everyone, after a very tiresome day with my annoying little sister (no, not my biological sister). She dragged me around with her friends, made me carry the take-out bag from some restaurant, I forgot which one, and otherwise made me feel left out. But… it’s meh. Like my motto goes, “no hard feelings.” Hard feelings will make it difficult to communicate with the person you cherish.

Right! Enough chessy stuff. (Get it? Because Cheska, cheesy… Chessy? Ugh… that was bad even for my standards.) When I got home, I charged my phone right away (I ran out of battery in Rockwell) and checked my Messenger and WordPress. In Messenger, three messages: one from Cheska, one from Ella, and another from How Dip Is Ur Luv (groupchat name; long story). Anyway, I noticed that nii-chan had posted a new blog post about himself again, which was quite intriguing. After a few minutes, I was delving into his latest post about claustrophilia – the opposite of my claustrophobia.

So? What if I already have hemophobia? There’s no rule against having multiple phobias, is there?!

If claustrophilia is the attraction to closed spaces, then claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. I have a bit of that, though I can ride elevators well (as long as it ain’t full). To be honest, I have no idea where my claustrophobia originated, must be from a bad event during my childhood that I can’t remember anymore.

What does it feel like to be claustrophobic? I’ll explain it in a given situation. For example, you and your friends are going to La Salle for CS training, and you’re seated in the back row, and you’re so cramped there you can’t even move your legs, your claustro-fear will kick in. (See what I did there? Legs? Kick in?) To me, it feels as if my lungs are filling with something solid and I can’t breathe properly, and I have an almost irresistible urge to thrash around to make more space. As I grew older, I managed to control this thrashing, but the urge is still there whenever I’m in a cramped space. In an attempt to make more space, I push against the car windows and lean back in my seat to make the illusion of a wider area in front. Or I can just close my eyes and focus on my breathing. The latter usually does the trick.

So there you go, nii-chan. What a claustrophobic person has in mind. Sometimes, it’s cool to have a best friend who’s your polar opposite, because you get to see things from a completely different perspective. Well, this is your claustrophobic EnglishRazor, closing in. (Bad pun.)

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With my pen, the world sits in the palm of my hand.

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