The next day, I came to school early as usual. Once I got inside the Amadome, I set my bag by the Amadome’s last pillar, the one in front of the entrance to Lover’s Lane. This habit of mine started since July, and it hasn’t faded since. At times I refer to it as “my pillar” though no one really understands why.
Like always, I was scanning the students entering, when she appeared. My best friend, in all her glory. She seemed brighter today. There was a spring to her step. Her smile was impossibly perfect. She was radiating the aura of happiness, and I wondered who could be able to do such a miraculous thing. I had my answer a few seconds later.
A few steps behind her, he followed. His hair was neatly swept up, his jacket draped across his back. He seemed to radiate the same aura as her, but his was more manly. His smile was one of pure joy, and I couldn’t help but wonder… this is how much they like each other?
“No. They love each other.” I said out loud, not caring if anyone heard me.
She passed by me and gave me a happy grin then went on. He followed and nodded at me. Together they sat beside each other somewhere in the front of the line. Yasmin was talking with Maowell. Jayzer was laughing with Jetka. Ice was holding Hannah.
And I was standing there, alone, without anyone to talk to, much less feel comfort with. I clenched my fists and bowed my head. This is your fate. Accept it.
But as I took a second look at everyone, my mind rejected my thought. Maowell was whispering something in Yasmin’s ear. Jayzer was draping his jacket over Jetka. Ice was smiling at Hannah. He and she were holding hands while laughing. This is unfair. You don’t deserve to be mocked like this.
Your fault. You let go of the only girl who ever loved you.
I didn’t let go! She was-
We are not having this argument again!
I didn’t mean Ella!
That.. girl? She was never mine to begin with! And all I wanted was for her to be happy! Nothing more!
And look where your kind self got you now.
I lost the argument. Suddenly I felt a surge of hatred fill me. They didn’t deserve to be happy. Maowell doesn’t deserve someone like Yasmin. Jayzer and Jetka aren’t for each other. Ice and Hannah will break up soon. And them… I became jealous of everyone. Yasmin is in my squad, Maowell. Jetka, Jayzer is part of The Circle and you’re not. Hannah, Ice is Copernicus. And you… she’s my best friend. I used to be beside her, not you. Where were you when she needed you? Nowhere. I was there, not you. Murderous thoughts filled my head.
“Calm down.” A hand clapped on my shoulder.
I turned. “Nii-chan?”
He stepped closer and hugged me. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here. Hush now.” Kenshin’s baritone voice filled my ears. His presence made my hatred crumble to dust, leaving my raw emotions fully exposed. I hugged him back and buried my face into his chest. He held on as my tears overflowed.
“Nii… chan…” I cried.
“It’s okay. I’m here now. I won’t leave you.” He stroked my hair. I held on and cried, feeling guilty for being jealous, feeling guilty for thinking those thoughts.
“There, there. I’ll always be here if you need me,” he whispered as I broke down.